Domestic Violence Resources for LGBTQ+ People

Domestic violence and intimate partner violence affect LGBTQ+ people at rates equal to or higher than the general population. Transgender people, in particular, face disproportionately high rates of intimate partner violence. And yet, mainstream domestic violence resources have not always served LGBTQ+ survivors well, whether through assumptions about gender roles, lack of training, or outright exclusion from shelter programs.

You deserve support that sees your relationship clearly, without assumptions about who the victim must be or what your partnership should look like. The organizations below were built with LGBTQ+ survivors in mind.

Organizations Specifically for LGBTQ+ Survivors

• The Network / La Red (TNLR)
  24-hour hotline: 617-742-4911
  tnlr.org
  A survivor-led organization focused on ending partner abuse in LGBTQ+, kink, and polyamorous communities. Offers confidential hotline support, safety planning, crisis intervention, emergency shelter referrals, and support groups. Bilingual in English and Spanish. You do not have to be ready to leave your relationship to call. Their staff are trained to support you wherever you are in your process.
• NYC Anti-Violence Project (AVP) and NCAVP
  NYC 24-hour hotline: 212-714-1141 (English/Spanish)
  avp.org
  The New York City Anti-Violence Project runs a 24-hour crisis line and coordinates the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP), a national network of LGBTQ+ anti-violence organizations across the US. NCAVP member organizations exist in cities throughout the country. Contact AVP to be connected with a member program near you.

General Domestic Violence Resources That Serve LGBTQ+ Survivors

• National Domestic Violence Hotline
  Phone: 1-800-799-7233 (24/7) | Deaf Hotline videophone: 855-812-1001
  Chat: thehotline.org
  Available 24/7 in English and Spanish with access to translation in over 170 languages. Has trained advocates who work with LGBTQ+ callers, though for specialized LGBTQ+ support, The Network/La Red or AVP are specifically equipped.

Understanding Abuse in LGBTQ+ Relationships

Intimate partner violence in LGBTQ+ relationships includes all the forms it takes in any relationship: physical, emotional, financial, and sexual abuse. It can also include LGBTQ+-specific tactics of control:

• Threatening to out someone to their family, employer, or community.
• Manipulating someone by claiming their identity is not real or not valid.
• Withholding access to gender-affirming care or medications as a form of control.
• Using shame about LGBTQ+ identity to isolate someone from their community.
• Telling someone that because they are LGBTQ+, no one will believe them or help them.

These are recognized forms of abuse. They are not unique to your relationship, and they are not your fault.

Barriers and Why They Are Not Your Fault

LGBTQ+ survivors often face real barriers to leaving or seeking help: fear that mainstream shelters will not be safe or will not accept them, concern about being outed, not being believed because of assumptions about which partner could be abusive, or lack of legal protection in some states. Trans survivors may face additional barriers around shelter access and legal support.

The organizations above understand these barriers. They were built by people who lived them. You do not have to explain yourself or justify your experience. You just have to reach out.

You deserve safety. You deserve support. And you deserve to be seen exactly as you are.